Humans are weird #1

Whiskers' January observations.

Hello Humans,

Whiskers here. Earlier today, during my usual Morning Pages routine, something came to me. I had the idea of sharing my recent observations about humans with you. I spend most of the day lounging around the house while my human and her partner work away at their laptops, so I figured I could try too. Alexis gave me the password to her iPad. So, here are some things I’ve noticed this month:

1. Humans create these things called New Year resolutions. They set themselves up to fail at things like going to the gym five days a week, losing 10 pounds, writing three books, and reading 100 books in one year. I don’t understand it. Why put so much pressure on yourself? Also, are you doing it just because everyone else has resolutions (or “ins” and “outs” seem to be trending) for the new year or are you actually excited?

2. Men like to decorate the house with socks (or at least my human’s man does). Her boyfriend is a sweet, handsome, and kind guy, and I don’t want to judge, but I really don’t understand his design taste. His colorful, patterned socks adorn every room in the house (did I use the word “adorn” correctly?). They peep out from under the bed, like “Oh, hello, don’t mind me while you two ‘make love’”. They stretch out under the bathroom sink so I have an audience during my morning poop. They must really not like the laundry bin—they’re always right next to it, rather than in it. Sometimes they decorate in pairs and sometimes the design is a bit off-balanced with three socks or one lonely little guy. My human is not a huge fan of his design taste either.

3. I think technology is great. I wouldn’t be writing this newsletter without it, but sometimes I worry that my human’s brain is melting. Yesterday, I noticed a pattern. She was working on her Mac Book, closed it and opened her iPad, closed her iPad and picked up her iPhone, then repeated the cycle over and over. I don’t even know what she was doing, it’s like she switches to autopilot and can’t figure out how to break the cycle. At night, the cycle was similar, iPhone, iPad, iPhone, iPad, iPhone, then finally, Kindle! I’m going to talk to her about this during one of our next snuggle sessions. Getting outside more, even for 20-minute walk breaks could benefit her mental health, at least I think so, but what do I know? I’m just an imaginary cat.

That’s all for today.

Seeeeeee you sooooooon,

Whiskers

Comments

1. How’s it going?

2. Want more posts from me, Whiskers, the imaginary cat?

3. Do you do any of these weird things I recently observed?

This is me giving my human the side-eye.

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In case you’re new here… Hey! I’m Alexis, a New York-born and raised freelance tech writer living my best life in cozy Amsterdam. I’m also moonlighting as a humorist here at Humor in Progress, at least that’s what I tell myself. Thanks for reading!

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