On my Artist’s Way (week two)

The power of paying attention (it could be the next thing you write about!).

Hello, and welcome back to Creative After Hours. I’m writing from the sky today (no secret airplane room though, unfortunately). My boyfriend and I are heading to Turkey to visit his family. We’re going to a small village in the north of the country, close to the Black Sea. It’s called Kastamonu. I know about five Turkish words and his parents don’t speak much English, but it’s interesting how we’re still somehow able to (slowly) develop a relationship. Or maybe they’re talking shit about me, but what I don’t know won’t kill me!

Let’s get into week two of The Artist’s Way. (Here’s my recap from week one, in case you missed it.)

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

This week was about recovering a sense of identity. The blurb at the beginning of chapter two reads:

“You may find yourself drawing new boundaries and staking out new territories as your personal needs, desires, and interests announce themselves.” 

I didn’t realize the effects of this during the week, but as I’m reflecting now, I recognize a few situations where I said “no” to protect my time and space. Mainly to small things, like stopping what I was doing because someone asked me for help with something else. Usually, I would put the other person first and then feel frustrated and resentful afterward. It felt good to prioritize myself and no one got upset.

I wrote my morning pages all seven days (still gibberish) and took myself out on a lovely artist date on Friday. My Fridays are now reserved for artist dates, forcing me to finally implement the four day work week I’ve been trying to achieve since the beginning of this year.

After a morning sauna and cold bath session with a friend, I stopped at an art supply store to pick up varnish for a wooden chair that I’m going to decorate with leaves as one of my next oil painting projects. Here’s my latest Georgia O’Keeffe inspired painting — not sure if it’s a flower or a vagina, but I love how it turned out and can’t wait to frame and hang it. 

Then I spontaneously looked for a place to eat in de Pijp (a trendy area in Amsterdam). I found an all day brunch spot called Florentin. I sat at a small table facing the large front window of the cafe so I could see passersby and all the other people enjoying their meals. Behind me, tucked into the corner was an open kitchen with a window wide open above it. The staff buzzed in and out to service customers on the restaurant terrace. 

The menu has an interesting mix of Israeli and Colombian food, sometimes combined in one dish. I tried something called “Colombian Breakfast” — two eggs, sausage, avocado, and arepas. I ordered an Arabic salad on the side. The tomatoes, onions, and cucumber were finely chopped and seasoned with olive oil and salt. I couldn’t resist slurping up the juice that filled the bottom of the little blue and white bowl. 

Colombian Breakfast

Rather than spending the whole time distracting myself with my phone, I put it away and tried to pay attention. To observe my surroundings and stay in the moment, which is something chapter two also talks about. Being present is something artist dates are meant for… paying attention gives you more material to work with. 

It was hard at first. I even reached for my phone a few times, which as I type this now, I think is crazy. Why is it so hard to detach from that thing? I’ve been thinking about doing a weekly 24 hour digital detox, but I keep hesitating because I want to remain reachable for my family. This idea came from

Elizabeth Gilbert

(I can’t find the exact post where she talked about it now). Do you ever do something like this? 

When I finally settled in, I focused on enjoying the food and my surroundings. My curiosity about the menu grew, so when the owner — a tall, handsome and sweet looking man with beautiful bronze skin, and a man bun — came by to check on me I struck up a conversation. (No I wasn’t hitting on him, but a girl can admire nice things!)

“Your menu is very interesting, is it Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Latin?,” I asked. 

“It’s me,” he said proudly. “I’m half Israel, half Colombian. My grandma made those arepas at home,” he continued as he pointed at my plate. 

Had I been busy on my phone, I would have never paid attention to these details or asked the owner about the menu. Our conversation got me thinking about growing up in a multicultural home because I did too.  

My father is Dutch and my mother is American. When I was young, I didn’t fully comprehend that my father came from another country, that he wasn’t American, and that he and my mom came from different cultural backgrounds. I just thought, he’s my dad. He makes those yummy Dutch pancakes for breakfast (Poffertjes) and I get to eat Hagelslag for breakfast too (delicious chocolate sprinkles that you put on buttered toast). I’m surprised my teeth didn’t fall out. 

It wasn’t until I was older (late teens to early 20s) that I understood, appreciated, and became more curious about my two halves. Well, OK, we all have two halves, but mine are from different countries and it made me feel different. When I moved to the Netherlands in 2019, I started to notice the Dutch cultural influence my dad had on me. I fit in (sort of). I always thought some of his quirks were just him, just my dad. But they’re Dutch. Things like being pragmatic, planning everything in advance, and being direct. 

There’s a joke that if you ask a Dutch person if they can hang out next week, their response is usually, “Let me check my agenda.” This is so me! But also, the American mindset of work hard, climb the career ladder, and live to work are part of me too. In the Netherlands (and other European countries where many of my expat friends are from), work is not life. 

Most people I meet for the first time here don’t even ask me what I do. They usually ask about my last or future holiday or about my hobbies. It’s so refreshing and I like that it has encouraged me to rethink work life balance and the importance of having hobbies. In my case, that’s creative outlets like experimenting with new writing genres here on Substack, oil painting, making jewelry, and photography. 

By the end of week two, I had this feeling of coming back to myself. I’m not sure if it was the beers I had on Friday night that lowered my inhibition and self doubt (it was only two!), or maybe my friend's art show on Thursday inspired me, but I found myself thinking a lot about all the creative projects I used to do when I was young. 

A few quick photos from the art show

I’m not sure why I stopped. College? Work? Life? Feeling like it wasn’t productive or worth my time and energy? I can’t pinpoint it, but it feels like I’m opening and letting creative hobbies back into my life. It’s exciting.

Maybe this is what unblocking your creativity feels like? If so, I’m here for it! 

I even took myself on another little artist date on Saturday. I went to different art store and bought fine point pens and a small sketch pad. I sat on a bench next to a canal and tried to sketch what I saw in front of me. It’s nothing special. But I enjoyed it. 

Nothing special

My favorite lines from chapter two/week two 

“Just as a recovering alcoholic must avoid the first drink, the recovering artist must avoid taking the first think. Do not let your self-doubt turn into self-sabotage.”

”Be very careful to safeguard your newly recovering artist.” 

“The essential element in nurturing our creativity lies in nurturing ourselves.” 

“You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus.” 

“The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.” 

“In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention to right now. The precise moment I was in was always the only safe place for me. Each moment, taken alone, was always bearable. In the exact now, we are all, always, all right.” 

This last quote reminds me of the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (fellow writer and Substacker,

Mika

recently wrote about it here). It’s a great read to help ground yourself in the present. In the now. Everything is now because when you were dealing with the past it was happening in the now and when you eventually have to deal with something in the future, the moment it happens is in the now. That’s it in a nutshell, but the author does a much better job explaining it.

My favorite task from week two

There are 10 tasks at the end of each chapter. If you don’t want to do all of them, it’s recommended to choose the ones that seem easiest and the ones you initially resist. Being my overachieving self, I’ve been trying to complete all the weekly tasks, but I’m also trying to be easy on myself if I don’t feel like it. I completed seven exercises in week two. My favorite was the life pie. It entails drawing a circle, dividing it into six pieces of a pie, and labeling the pieces as follows:

1. Spirituality

2. Exercise

3. Play

4. Work

5. Friends

6. Romance/adventure

Then you place a dot in each slice at the degree to which you are fulfilled in that area (outer edge indicates great and the inner circle, not so great), and you connect the dots to see where you’re lopsided. Here’s mine: 

Mine looks a bit out of whack, but supposedly as your creative recovery progresses, it evens out and your life becomes more balanced. I’m looking forward to that!

Questions and comments 

I feel like there’s so much we could discuss! Here are a few conversation starters: 

1. What does your life pie look like? What areas would you like to focus on? 

2. Did you get your copy of The Artist’s Way yet? (Some of you mentioned that you want to start it in the comments of my last post.) 

3. Do you have a multicultural family? Either your parents or are you in a multicultural relationship? 

4. If you do artist dates, what did you do for the last one? 

5. What’s your favorite food? 😋

See you next week,

Alexis 

P.S. Oh, I almost forgot. The “Open Letter” piece I submitted to McSweeney’s (mentioned here in my week one recap of The Artist’s Way) was rejected. Whomp whomp. It’s a little disappointing, of course. But it’s the first time I’ve ever submitted personal work to any publication, so I’m proud of myself for trying. I’ll publish it here soon!

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I cover topics like creativity, freelance writing, life in Amsterdam, and everything in between.