Reading on writing: The Situation and the Story
I might have started a book club.
Hey,
Writing personal essays is fucking hard. It’s not the act of writing that trips me up—I can force myself to sit down and write—it’s the digging into the feelings and emotions I have (or had) about the situations I choose to explore. It’s hard, but it’s better than therapy.
If you can peel back the layers and get to the core of how you felt then (or feel now) about the moments that call you to the page, it’s like repeatedly finding an AHA moment.
I’m early in my journey as an essayist — can I even call myself that yet? I’m working on a piece (or rather, struggling through one) to submit to The New York Times' Modern Love column. Maybe I’m on the verge of a fourth career act, or maybe I’ve simply found a new way to cope with life’s ups and downs. Either way, both paths work, because getting to know myself better and making sense of my experiences through writing brings me joy — and a sense of compassion for myself and others.
Reading other people’s stories and finding common threads and emotions in different situations has been healing in ways I never imagined. Receiving comments from lovely readers like you keeps me publishing here on Substack week after week — thank you.
I often feel lost in the process and afraid to share my innermost thoughts and feelings, but I’ve learned that vulnerability in writing and relationships leads to deeper connections. However long it takes me to get there, I’m here for it.
That’s why I picked up The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick to learn how to make sense of and articulate in my writing, the things (good and bad) I’ve learned and felt during my 39 years on this planet. One of my favorite lines is:
“What happened to the writer is not what matters; what matters is the large sense that the writer is able to make of what happened.”
It’s a short book, around 165 pages. I read it in a few days and know I’ll flick through it often to refer back to the underlined passages. Have you read it?
In case you missed it, I recently asked in the subscriber chat thread if anyone would like to read along with me and share thoughts on the book. I guess I’ve started a book club?
📌 Here’s the chat thread. I’ll follow up in the chat around November 13th, so if you’d like to read the book (or have already read it) and want to join the conversation, please do!
In the meantime…
I’d love to know more about your writing journey. How are you finding your way in the world of personal essay writing? Any books you recommend? There are a few more on my list, but I’m saving those for another post. Stay tuned…
✌️Until next time,
P.S. It would mean a lot to me if you hit the like button to increase engagement on this post. Also, feel free to share my posts with a friend. Lastly, consider further supporting my independent writing by upgrading to a paid subscription. As always, thank you for reading!
📚Book club questions
Hello book clubbers,
I hope you enjoyed reading The Situation and the Story by Vivian Gornick. I know I did. If you haven’t finished yet, take your time, you can always come back to this post to join the chat.
Here’s a list of questions to get the conversation started. Feel free to cherry-pick the ones you’d like to respond to or just share whatever thoughts and learnings come to mind. I’ll wait for some of your comments to roll in (at the bottom of this post) before I chime in. See you in the comments!
Can you think of a memoir or personal essay where the writer successfully separated the "situation" from the "story"? How did that affect your reading experience? (Feel free to share a link if you have one!)
Gornick emphasizes the writer's voice and its evolution. How did her insights on voice challenge or affirm your perspective on writing memoirs or personal essays?
In what ways did the examples Gornick provided from other writers help you grasp her concepts? Did any particular example resonate with your own writing or reading experiences?
Gornick writes about finding the "truth" in the narrative. How do you interpret her view on truth in personal writing? Do you think it’s possible to fully achieve this?
Did the book inspire you to write or revisit any personal experiences? If so, how would you approach those stories differently after reading this?
Which part of the book, if any, did you find difficult or challenging to agree with? How did you reconcile (or not) those differences?
What’s one takeaway from the book that you think will most influence your reading or writing moving forward? Why?
Anything else you want to add or share? Go for it!
Do I suck at this whole online book club thing? Give it to me.
“It’s hard, but it’s better than therapy.” …And cheaper.
It sounds like an intriguing book and I am tempted by the book club but I'm just so stretched right now and I doubt I'd have time to read it, as short as it is. There's a book called 'No One Wants to Read your Shit' which was recommended to me, but I've yet to read it. I suppose I've written essays over the years but I honestly have no idea if the more reflective pieces have resonated with people or if I'm going about it the right way.